It seems that most of this year has been about
Not easy when you are a control freak.
As I watch all my friends and family go off on their
summer jaunts.....I am still waiting;
*waiting for the grief of losing my Dad earlier
this year to subside.
It still hasn't! Will it ever I ask myself daily?
* waiting to finalise my Dad's
estate, something that has been so painful
*waiting to see what my estranged Sister's next
move will be now that she "smells" inheritance!!
*waiting for karma (as you can tell this is related
to the previous point)
*waiting to move into my gorgeous new cottage in
the Cotswold that I have just bought
*waiting.....with dread at leaving the home that has been
in my family for more than 40 years.
*waiting to see whether I will cry when I leave,
or whether I will just close the door whilst biting
down hard on my lip and trying to be strong
*waiting to see whether all the memories from the
past 40 years will come crashing down and overwhelm
me, or whether it will be a complete anti-climax
* waiting to make new experiences and memories
*waiting to belly laugh again without feeling guilty
*waiting for business objectives to start to
come to fruition. Sometimes you keep plugging
away and you can't see the immediate effect of all the small
things you are doing on a daily basis.
I just have to remember all the
small actions do have a compound effect.
*waiting for my business to be featured in Vogue
and Elle China. I am so excited about this as this
is a market I really wanted to explore. So I am just waiting
to hear about the editorial dates etc
*waiting for some decent weather here in the UK.
I don't need it to be as hot as it is when I am in Spain.
But it would be nice to not have to put my duvet back
on my bed in the middle of July. Or to remember to
take an umbrella rather than remember to carry
my sunglasses ;-)
*waiting for days when my mind can slow down
*waiting for days when I spend less time speaking
to lawyers and more time speaking to loved ones
*waiting for my creativity to come back
*waiting to design my new office space :-)
*waiting for the sun to slowly filter through my
grief and show me that there will be sunnier days
I'm just waiting