So this week was my birthday.
No big milestone birthday, but quite an emotional
one for me. You see I finally reached the age that
was to be the age that my young Mum died.
I know this is totally irrational.
But it's been a mental milestone
that I have been dreading for as long
as I can remember.
It drives my loved ones mad.
But I can't get past it.
It finally arrived on Monday,
and everything is still the same.
There was no big
clap of thunder. The sky did not
turn black. I didn't hear
Charlton Heston's voice booming
at me through the clouds.
No, everything just ticked
along as normal.
Was that what was "supposed" to happen?
Did I miss the memo?
So I tried not to think about or
mention "the number"out loud.
Instead I tried to reflect on what
I have learnt during my
forty-something years on this planet
(admittedly this was a struggle ;-)
I've learnt that:
* most fears are totally irrational
and that I still haven't mastered how to
not let what hasn't happened affect me as
if it has ;-)
*at all times I am where I am supposed
to be. So stop bloody fighting it ;-)
*it might take a day, a week or
a year, but what we want will find us
*you should be able to count your
very closest friends on just one hand
*that there are still so many women
around the world who will never reach my age
as either their national life expectancy or circumstances
will dictate that
*every morning I am credited with 86,400 seconds.
It's for me to use every second wisely because
every night the slate is wiped clean and any
time I did not use is just written off.
*there is usually very little a good lipstick, heels and
chocolate won't solve
*and to…………..
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So what has age taught you?
How do you deal with
irrational fears?
As always I love hearing your
views and thoughts.
xx