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As most of you know, I left Spain to move back to the UK
this summer.

I principally came back to look after my sick and elderly Dad
who was more sick than I could have ever imagined.

I am not an only child, I have a sister who lives 10 minutes 
away from my Dad. But that's a story for another day.

I'm loving being back in London.
But something else is overwhelming me. 
I've realised my life has been "hijacked".

I can't make plans as there is always
an urgent medical appointment that needs to
be squeezed in.

My life no longer has a timetable. Those of
you who know me, know how my life is scheduled
with military precision.

Suddenly the only timetables are
those surrounding my Dad.

It's dawning on me what a huge undertaking 
I am now part of.

Please don't get me wrong, I am so
pleased I came back when I did.

But being surrounded by someone old and very sick
has started to fill me with dread and fear about my own

I've lost my mojo, my creativity, my optimism
for life.

I've lost my freedom, my passion ,
my vision for my business, 
my spontaneity, my sparkle

Nobody told me it would be like this.
Everybody just told me I was doing the right thing.

I'm trying to focus everyday on all that I DO have

........ the most wonderful husband,
friends and faith that are all keeping me on the
right side of the Vodka bottle ;-)

Please don't think I have been ignoring you all
(this is the longest I've been AWOL from
I just need more time than I thought to
adapt to my new responsibilities. where's that Vodka bottle?