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Compare and Despair

by Vannessa@Luxuria |

OK, here's the thing.
In this land of blogs, Pinterest,
Facebook updates and Instagram
it is so easy to take a peep into
other peoples glossy lives and
start comparing where you are with
where everyone else.



Now I've never been one to compare
or be competitive when it comes to my choices
in comparison with my friends for example.

I always seemed to move against the tide
and was always happy not following convention.



But something strange has been starting to happen.

I have started the dreaded "compare and despair"
(well not quite despair, but you can see where I am 
going with this).

OK let me tell you my 
dirty little secret.

You see I follow someone on Facebook
who is not even in the same industry as me
(she is in online marketing/coaching)


She is super glamorous, very young.
She has glamorous photo-shoots done in
her home on a regular basis
that are now starting to look too staged 
for me to be honest, yet I still love seeing them.
What's that all about? Why don't I just turn on the
TV and watch Real Housewives of NYC or something?


She is clearly very successful 
and I really do admire her 
drive at such a young age.

However I did one of her courses and wasn't 
that impressed with it at all and decided
that she was great at marketing her
personal brand  but maybe there 
was not so much substance under
the gloss (until Hubs said "maybe
you decided you would consciously not 
like the course so that you could prove 
your theory that she's
all gloss and nothing else")

The pen gifted to Dita Von Teese by Mont Blanc

How DARE he.

BUT was he right?
(he knows me better than
anyone ;-)

HOWEVER (now this is the scary bit)
 I am still addicted
to seeing her photos, what she's bought,
what she's wearing, where's she holidaying etc.

Now this is SO unlike me it is frightening ME!



As I look at her Facebook feed
I am starting to notice a "flaunting"about
lots of the photos she does now , and yet I can't
 resist following
(but on the other hand she could
be showing her younger target market
what they can have if they work hard.
There is that side to it too).

She seems to be idolised by many
younger business women who
follow her (as I guess that
is her target market)

How gorgeous is this work space?

However, the bigger question is why
don't I just click away and be done
with it?

But no! I then start comparing
how I was at her age. I didn't really know
where I was going or who I was and I
certainly wasn't buying Hermés or
Chanel in my 20's.

Chanel

I then start comparing the older me with this person 
(even more dangerous) and start to
despair that I left it too
late to acquire all my dreams
so I might as well
give up now and crawl
back under the duvet.

Those of you who have followed
me for some time know this is SO not me.
I am so driven and optimistic about
whatever life throws at me.

So what's happening?

Chanel, pearl, white

Maybe I am living my fantasy
of how I "wish" I had been through her?

Maybe it's who I want to be now
from a business perspective?

Is it dangerous never showing
the real you; your bad days, your
vulnerabilities etc? Is it totally
unrealistic, or is this glamorous
escapism what people need to be inspired
and to escape their own realities?


The danger is clearly when you start
comparing your progress with someone
else's. 

Is this really dangerous territory or
just all harmless fun?

I'm really baffled, not only with
my "continuous curiosity", but how
I have no answers as to why it's happening.

Note to self

I would love to hear your thoughts

xxx